A Change in My Thinking
Wow - I've been on this journey - this quest, I guess you'd say - the past several months. It all relates to trying to be real but it's hard to be real when you don't know who you are. Quite the quandry! So now I kind of "get" what people mean when they say they are trying to "find themselves" though I still think that phrase is one of the silliest in our culture. I'm right here in this chair - duh!
So anyhow, in trying to learn who I really am I had to admit that I've spent a large majority of my life using emotional feelers/antenna to determine what people were thinking/feeling. And then I'd adjust according to my findings. Pleasing was my number one occupation and still is to a large degree. Well, let me tell ya, when you spend all your time and energy trying to be what you perceive other people want you to be there's little room for who God created you to be. Did you follow that one?! Not sure I did either.
That said, I'm finding more and more that the more "me" I am, the more opinionated people are toward me. I did a GREAT job conforming - had no idea how well I was at that game. As I've begun to get in touch with me, I realize I have to sacrifice the idea of all people liking me (wow - what a delusion that was). But it's SO much better to be loved for who you are than who someone thinks you to be. Not that this journey is over. Nope - it's only just begun and they say getting there is half the fun. I sure hope so!
Public - 11:05 AM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it
Wow - I've been on this journey - this quest, I guess you'd say - the past several months. It all relates to trying to be real but it's hard to be real when you don't know who you are. Quite the quandry! So now I kind of "get" what people mean when they say they are trying to "find themselves" though I still think that phrase is one of the silliest in our culture. I'm right here in this chair - duh!
So anyhow, in trying to learn who I really am I had to admit that I've spent a large majority of my life using emotional feelers/antenna to determine what people were thinking/feeling. And then I'd adjust according to my findings. Pleasing was my number one occupation and still is to a large degree. Well, let me tell ya, when you spend all your time and energy trying to be what you perceive other people want you to be there's little room for who God created you to be. Did you follow that one?! Not sure I did either.
That said, I'm finding more and more that the more "me" I am, the more opinionated people are toward me. I did a GREAT job conforming - had no idea how well I was at that game. As I've begun to get in touch with me, I realize I have to sacrifice the idea of all people liking me (wow - what a delusion that was). But it's SO much better to be loved for who you are than who someone thinks you to be. Not that this journey is over. Nope - it's only just begun and they say getting there is half the fun. I sure hope so!
Public - 11:05 AM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it
posted by walkietalkiegg | 10:11 AM
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