Official blog-hopper...

"You make me brave every time I see You smile. I see it clear; I am Yours!" - Charlie Hall

Name:
Location: United States

I'd forgotten I started a blog awhile back stating "I'm 38 years old and newly single" eh hm... make that 43 years old now and newly nothing. I have a 12 year old son (how did he get to be 17 and so grown up and independent?) and a 3 1/2 year old daughter (8 1/2 now? Really?!? in a blink... in a tiny, innocent appearing blink the clock leaps forward) who are the most fantastic kids! My son, the percussionist and nerdy intellectual with a heart the biggest I've seen who unfortunately drives a whole lot like his mother and my daughter, the artist who seems to manipulate any medium into her own perceptions and then explains it with great articulation, yet who will still not converse with anyone aside from her father, her brother, myself and a small handful of peers. Will of steel and it will serve her well!

Monday, September 18, 2006

It's a Kingdom thing! "Let the children come to me..." "Come to me as a child...", "Anyone who causes one of these to stumble...". What does it mean? Today I caught a glimpse. Sometimes I see a glimpse of a child in someone - not immaturity but blind faith, ultimate trust with the dear things we need for life. Wreckless abandon. A passion for play. A Passion for living free - for flying without adult calculations. And when I see those things I hunger! But today I realized that I've walked head-down ashamed of the child in me. I've bought the lie that wreckless abandon is childish and immature. But Jesus says that being child-like opens us up to His Kingdom. Is that why I so hunger to play, to expore, to find something new continually? Is that what makes my spirit restless and causes me to seek the fun stuff in life? Being child-like sounds so simple but it is hard. It requires letting go - relinquishing being "in charge" or "in control". Naps were not welcomed as a child. Why? A thirst to discover more! But today I'm so tired - from trying to package it all up nice and neat. I watched my two year old play today. She threw torn pieces of paper and markers in the air and grinned from ear to ear. She stood up, bent over at the knees and looked at me upside down between her legs and shrieked in delight. She played peek-a-boo with me from behind a curtain, her laughter loud and uncontrolled. Did any of this have direction or purpose? YES! Her own delight! And just as I recieved joy from her delight in the simple, so our Father receives joy in our delight in the simple. But when we become entangled in control, in details, in our own agendas, we lose sight of the simple things. And I wonder at the heart of my Father as He sees what I miss. How He must long to point my eyes to focus on the simple joys He has placed here for me. God, teach me to become a child again - to learn to play and to delight in the pleasures you have given! Again as always help me to cease striving and know that You are God and I AM your beloved CHILD!! Strip away my "grown up" act and let me be simple again!