Qualification - this will NOT be a neat, concise summary of something I've learned but rather a mixed-up, messy scribble of what I'm trying hard to grasp. And it's being written in the midst of puny-ness, so that factors in as well. Yep -I caught the bug, dang it!

Anyhow, some thoughts meandering around in my head include wilderness, desert, tower of babel, scattering, The Church vs. my church, war, battles, hunger, thirst, provision.

Wilderness/desert - place where those who've chosen to leave Egypt walk when they've been given the vision of the Promised Land. Translation: within the church, those who've had their eyes open to a land of freedom from slavery and who have been willing to step onto a path are in a barren place.

Tower of babel - the thing built up when man rejected God's mandate to fill all the earth and instead held together and tried to build something that would "reach God". Translation: within the church there are many who are insistant upon building up "spiritualitly" through programs and rules and regulations who aren't willing to be "scattered" into the world. Death grips on tradition and the world's ways - business endeavors to try to "reach the masses".

Scattering - What happened at the tower of babel when people refused to do what was asked. And what happened again after Jesus came. Jesus said "Go" and He died - and He came back - yet they didn't truly go. They didn't do what He'd said. The way they "went" happened through severe persecution and THEN they were scattered. Translation - thinking we can somehow do what we are "supposed" to do is futile.

The Church vs my church - The Church is comprised of anyone who believes that God loved us enough to reconcile us to Him via Jesus on the Cross. Period. The Church is NOT the Roman Catholic church - is not Baptist or Pentecostal or Methodist or 'insert any denomination here'. My church can be any of those things but the key is "my" and insinuates an elitist attitude. I believe ALL those things are PART OF The Church and it takes all parts! Yeah, even the parts that look like the tower of babel to me - dang!

War/battles - we are in one spiritually. Period. It never ends. There are retreats and quiet times but the war never ends.

Hunger/thirst/provision - back to the desert. There is no "natural" provision, yet when the Israelites wandered they had manna - God provided. There was water from the rocks - God provided. But it's clear that they were still hungry - despite having their "needs" met. translation: Just a guess but maybe we have to stay hungry for something else in order to not plop our butts down in the desert and stay! UGH!

Conclusion: WHY do we have to have this spiritual war raging around us? Why did God show me the Promised Land but land me in the middle of the desert with provision but not satisfaction? Why can I not sit still when an argument ensues about church and retreats back to Egypt? Why, in the midst of this desert do I want to scream for people to join me out here when I'm not satisfied?!?!?! Misery loves company - is that it?! I don't think so but still... Ugh!

Yeah - these questions are rhetorical. Just my messiness spilled out on a screen for later sorting.

A trying day...

I rolled out of bed this morning in a relatively good mood. After not working all weekend, Monday was far better than usual. That is until my little one got up puking. Poor kid! That alone would have been a bad deal, but she'd had fever last week followed by a rash (and for those of you who knew about our last rash experience, you can imagine my panic) and now puking - ugh. Once I realized this had nothing to do with the previous issues and was probably a simple tummy bug I was able to cope like usual - laundry, cleaning spots on the carpet, bathing, and most of all holding a tired, frustrated, sick little girl. All part of being a mommy.

Then I had the realization that I was fortunate to have these "chores" to do, when I read the discription of a young family with children ranging age 3-19 who will have to live without their mom who succumbed to illness this weekend.

Add to that a traveling husband and a phone call telling us an aunt is on life support ready to die and my day quickly went from cheery and upbeat to blah.

And I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to either say "life sucks" or "...but I realize all this is blah, blah, blah and I have reconciled it all now". But you know what, I have no desire to say either. I just want to leave it at "It's been a sad day" and let that be that.

Loving Well

This post is an honorarium AND a message to someone who may never read it. I guess it's up to those being honored as to whether they choose to share! The intended recepient would be a young man who has recently professed his love to a sweet, beautiful young woman and will have to maintain that love from a distance for a time. The intended honorees are the members of the family he is being initiated into during this time.

Sir, you have recently been engulfed in a family that undoubtedly makes you a bit uncomfortable. You've been welcomed in and embraced fully yet at the same time have been quizzed and warned and given stern talkings. You've been asked to share intimately with people you've known superficially for a long time. But things have changed. You've walked into the life of the youngest of this family and everyone - everyone is watching you like a hawk! True or no?! But let me tell you what you've gotten yourself into...

LOVE, Mr! Yeah - LOVE! Not just with this wonderful young woman but with her entire clan. And it's a love like none you've ever experienced. If you can allow yourself to be tossed from person to person, each with his or her unique way of getting to know you as "family", I dare say - if you can go with the flow and learn spontaneity and find comfort in that - if you can hang in there, I'm warning you, you are about to experience the wildest, craziest most awesome love! These people, different as each of them are, will love you beyond imagination, making you their own.

How do I know these things? Let me tell ya - I've been engulfed! I've seen the love these people share with one another and I've had that love poured out to me and there's nothing like it in the world. These people, dear man, are just as screwed up as any of us - but let me tell ya - they KNOW LOVE and how to express it - to one another and to those who are willing to let down their guard enough to experience it. So let down your guard and prepare to be changed - in the best of ways!

Oh yeah... and if you hurt her - I'll KILL YA! :-D